Death is a peculiar thing to contemplate in the middle of living. All the habits and patterns of existence support being alive, being furiously alive. Dying is an aberration.

But of course it isn’t.

I have been thinking about it today. It is a hard concept to grasp, of course. Everyone struggles with the sudden absence of someone that death brings. That is not this situation. Yet. But it is dire enough that I must think of it. Cancer. The oncologist today said with my sister enduring this illness, and given our family history, we should be tested for the gene. She used the phrase “blood cancer” She meant: starts in the blood. It had a chilling effect.


I am simply winding ideas up like a spring of stress in my head. I cannot really think. We just have to work through this, come out on the other side. More later.

She is, at any rate, good humored and well-tempered. It is remarkable.

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